Relational Trauma Therapy in Los Gatos, California
You've been carrying this for a long time
Maybe it was a single event. Maybe it was years of living in an environment that never felt fully safe. Maybe you're not even sure what to call it, just that something happened, and you've never quite felt the same since. For some, it shows up as being easily activated and on edge. For others, it's quieter: a persistent sadness, a distance from people who love you, a nagging sense that you can't quite trust your own gut anymore.
Trauma doesn't always look dramatic. This might show up as complex trauma, the kind that builds slowly over years rather than from one event. Sometimes it looks like anxiety that won't quit, relationships that keep falling apart, or a deep sense that something is wrong with you. It isn't. But something did happen, and it deserves attention.
Signs you could benefit from relational trauma therapy in Los Gatos
You find yourself reacting in ways that feel out of proportion and you don't know why
Certain situations, people, or environments put you on edge without a clear reason
You struggle to feel safe, even when nothing is actually threatening you
You grew up in a home where you had to manage your parents' emotions instead of the other way around
You've worked hard to move on but the past keeps showing up in your present
Intimacy feels risky, like being truly known by someone is more dangerous than being alone
You've been told you're too sensitive, too reactive, or too much
You feel a quiet sadness more often than you can explain, even when nothing is technically wrong
You're close to people on paper, but something in you keeps a little distance even from those who love you
You don't fully trust your own instincts, so you either overthink every decision or override your gut completely
What you're describing isn't a character flaw. It's what happens when a nervous system has been through something it didn't have the support to process.
What if you could go from:
Always scanning the room for what's about to go wrong
→ To actually being able to relax, even when things are good
Apologizing for needing anything at all
→ To asking for what you need without bracing for rejection
Feeling like your body is working against you
→ To trusting your body's signals instead of fighting them
Performing okay-ness so no one worries about you
→ To letting people see you struggle, and staying connected anyway
Doubting your own read on people and situations
→ To learning to trust your intuition again
None of this means something is broken in you. It means your nervous system learned to protect you, and it's still doing its job a little too well.
How relational trauma therapy in Los Gatos, California can help
Trauma therapy isn't about rehashing everything that happened in painful detail. It's about helping your nervous system understand that it's safe now, even in your closest relationships, when it doesn't believe that yet.
We work at your pace. We follow what feels right for you. The goal is not to erase what happened but to loosen its grip so it stops running your present.
Many of my clients have spent years trying to outthink their trauma. Reading about it, understanding it intellectually, telling themselves they should be over it by now. Therapy offers something different.
A space to actually feel it, process it, and begin to move through it in a way that lasts. Not just so you understand yourself better, but so the people in your life get to actually know you, instead of the version of you that learned to stay guarded.
The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies outlines how trauma affects the nervous system in ways that go far beyond memory, which is why body-based approaches are so central to this work. For some people, trauma shows up loudly, always on alert, easily overwhelmed. For others, it's quieter: a low hum of sadness, a distance you can't explain, a sense that you've lost touch with your own instincts.
Both are real. Both deserve the same care.
What you'll gain from relational trauma therapy
Relief from hypervigilance — stop bracing for something bad to happen, with the people closest to you
A regulated nervous system — feel the difference between real threat and old fear, even in moments of closeness
Healthier relationships — stop abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable
A kinder inner voice — replace the self-criticism with something more honest and compassionate
Boundaries that feel natural — not walls, not collapse, but a real sense of what you will and won't tolerate
A more connected sense of self — feel at home in who you are, not just who you learned to perform
What working together actually looks like
Step 1.
We start by understanding your nervous system, not just your story. What sets you off, what shuts you down, what safety has actually felt like with other people (or hasn't) in your life.
Step 2.
We trace your reactions back to where they started. Usually that's family of origin, early relationships, the environments where you learned what was safe to feel and what wasn't.
Step 3.
We build new experiences of safety in real time, in session, in your body, and eventually in your relationships, so your nervous system has evidence that things can be different now.
My approach to relational trauma therapy
I work from an attachment informed, somatic-informed lens, and IFS informed, which means we pay attention to what's happening in your body, not just your thoughts, and how those old patterns are still shaping the way you connect with people now. Trauma is stored in the nervous system, and that's where the real healing happens.
I'll never push you to go somewhere you're not ready to go. We build safety first, always. And we stay curious rather than clinical, because you are not a diagnosis. You are a person who adapted to something hard, and those adaptations deserve to be understood, not pathologized.
Your Questions, Answered
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A friend can listen. Trauma therapy helps your nervous system actually update, not just your understanding of what happened.
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No. Trauma isn't about the size of the event, it's about how much support you had processing it at the time. Growing up managing everyone else's emotions counts.
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It depends on what you're working through, but many clients start noticing shifts in how they respond to stress within the first few months.
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Sessions are $250 for 50 minutes. I'm a private-pay provider, which means no diagnosis required and no limits from insurance on your care. I provide a superbill so you can seek reimbursement if your plan offers out-of-network benefits.
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Yes. Trauma doesn't always look like alarm bells. For a lot of people, it looks quieter: low-grade sadness, distance from people who care about you, or a sense that you've lost touch with your own gut. That's just as real, and just as treatable, as the more obvious signs.
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Yes, this is the kind of work I do. Complex trauma usually comes from repeated or ongoing experiences, often within relationships or a family system, rather than a single event. It responds well to the same relational, body-based approach.
Start relational trauma therapy in Los Gatos today
You don't have to keep carrying this alone. I offer a free 15-minute consultation so we can connect before you commit to anything.
Telehealth throughout California. Serving Los Gatos, Saratoga, Atherton, Menlo Park, Tiburon, Danville, Orinda, and the greater Bay Area.